Having Difficult Conversations – Proactive Approach

Growth, Contribution, and Goals (GCG’s)

Finding and defining your Value Premise will help you create a solid foundation for you to begin to outline your GCGs.

Keeping your established Value Premise in mind, consider:

Growth

• In what ways do you want to grow?
• How do you see yourself growing within the IDOC?

Contributions

• How do you want to personally contribute that adds value & impact?
• How does your role contribute to the goals of the department?

Goals

• What are your goals within your role?
• How can you be better supported?

GCGs can be used formally in your annual goal setting in SuccessFactors or informally within your team.

Consider using the SMART Goal Formula utilized by casework staff for the incarcerated population. It is a widely used tactic that can break GCGs into more manageable sizes.

As time goes on, ask yourself if anything has changed, and how you can continually develop and stay within your goals. Having clarity around GCGs continually reinforces the value that you bring to the IDOC and helps us accomplish our mission.

Supervisor Tip: Keep your team members’ social styles in mind when meeting with them about their goals. Amiables and Analyticals may be more reserved or hesitant to put goals in writing. While Drivers and Expressives may put too many parameters on themselves.

As a manager, it’s also important for you to ask questions and encourage your team members to be open with you. TIDES can be an essential skill in goal-setting discussions. You should help your team members avoid creating goals just for the sake of annual goal-setting requirements. Help them figure out how they wish to grow in their career by having them tell you more.

Resources

• VIDEO: DW Goen
• VIDEO: Sgt. Askew
• VIDEO: Capt. Roach

HEAT Conversations

Whether you are a manager or not, you can practice good leadership skills by engaging more deeply with your teammates when you have conversations with them. In corrections, it is vitally important that staff trust one another and are on the same page involving policy, procedures, and what’s happening with the incarcerated population.

HEAT is a simple acronym to guide you through an interaction with a teammate allowing you to build rapport with them.

How are things going?

Seems like a pretty simple and standard way to start a conversation, right? That’s the point. It also opens the door to a genuine conversation. When said sincerely, it can express that you care about the other person’s well-being. This simple question can help reveal a person’s issues, concerns, or challenges at work. Do your best to engage and show empathy to what your teammate is expressing.

Don’t forget, you can also take the opportunity to use the TIDES technique to allow your teammate to dive deeper into their concern or challenge.

Expectations

Setting clear expectations among the team is essential for success. Everyone has to be on the same page. Lack of synergy amongst teammates in corrections can lead to life-threatening situations. It’s important to check in with your teammates regularly to make sure everyone’s expectations are the same for both the daily mission and achieving longer-term goals.

Accountability/Appreciation

You might say accountability is the cornerstone of corrections. In a HEAT conversation, you can ask how each teammate is held accountable. Recommitting to your responsibilities and encouraging your teammates to do the same helps build a culture of reliability and integrity. We count on each other everyday to ensure safety and security in our workplaces.

At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge achievements and goals met by your teammates. Make a note of "wins" whether they are big or small by your teammates. Showing appreciation allows us to build fellowship amongst our team.

Swanda Speaks: Messages of appreciation don’t have to be limited to one-on-on conversations. The staff at the South Bend Community Re-Entry Center use Swanda Swanson to leave positive messages for each other. The casework team won the unique box in a raffle at a conference. Teammates leave shout-out notes for one another inside and the messages are then sent out to all staff in an email.

Teamwork

The strength of your team is dependent on how well you can work together. We must remind each other that we are all trying to achieve the same goal every single day. Sometimes that goal can be as simple as going home safe at the end of the shift.

Resources

• WORKBOOK PAGE: Learn About HEAT Conversations
• VIDEO: Sample HEAT Conversation
• BLOG: Building Trust Within Your Team

Clarify, Alignment + Purpose – Communication (CAP-C)

How can we create a culture in the spirit of Leading from Within, that has clear direction with a path that everyone wants to follow and understands how their role makes an impact? By intentionally creating Clarity, Alignment, and Purpose along with effective communication, individuals, teams, divisions, and departments can better understand how their daily activities, projects, and priorities drive the overall goals and objectives at every level across the Department.

1. Clarity: You must have clarity around your directions and goals, as well as everyone’s expectations.
2. Alignment: Is everybody aligned and does everybody agree on the direction?
3. Purpose: Each person’s role matters and impacts the overall vision and goals of the organization. Does everyone understand their purpose?

Through CAP-C, we can create a work environment where team members have a clear understanding of their roles, how they contribute to the DOC’s goals, and the overall purpose of their work. This clarity, alignment, and sense of purpose can lead to increased motivation, productivity, and a stronger, more cohesive team.

Resources

• VIDEO: TCG: The Science of High-Performing Teams
• BLOG: Creating a Healthy Work Culture for Your Team

3x3 Framework

The 3x3 framework serves as a valuable tool to keep meetings on track and facilitate productive conversations.

The first “3” in the framework represents the main points to be shared, keep in mind the number 3 is arbitrary and may vary, however more than 5 main points may be too many for optimal understanding. The second “3” outlines the key components of the framework:

1. Give them a Headline: Tell them what you are going to tell them and provide a preview of the main points.
2. Tell them details around the main points, elaborate on the identified main points.
3. Tell them what you told them or provide a recap and summarize the key takeaways, reinforcing understanding and retention.

De-escalation – Reactive Conflict Resolution

Everyone in the DOC has been through various forms of de-escalation training. Those who work directly with the incarcerated population are constantly using tactics to diffuse and de-escalate situations.

While de-escalating issues with the population might be second nature to staff, we can sometimes struggle to navigate issues with one another and bottle up our frustrations when we don’t communicate effectively. Sometimes, this can lead to resentment and passive-aggressive responses between co-workers.

Consider TIDES and HEAT. Note how they fit into the process. These can be the keys to breaking barriers amongst each other, so we don’t develop grudges and fester resentment.

Clarify and Listen

When someone comes to you wanting to address an issue, it’s best not to let it linger and fester. Find an appropriate time and place to discuss the issue. It’s important to listen to understand and comprehend. Don’t immediately begin forming a rebuttal in your mind before the other person finishes speaking. This is a great time to utilize the TIDES skill. Ask the probing questions to get to the true heart of the issue that is bothering the other person.

Restate and Cushion

It’s important that the person you’re interacting with feels heard. Take a moment to make sure you understand what they’re saying by repeating what they said in your own words.

Draw Out

Ask if there’s anything else they want to address. Sometimes, the issue causing the conflict at the moment is a symptom of a bigger problem. Give the person time to explain or expound on any underlying issues.

Isolate the Primary

If the other person brings up multiple issues, address the most important or biggest issue first. You can potentially solve any smaller problems systematically if they’re a result of the underlying issue.

Respond

Now that you’ve given the other person the time to fully clarify and express their problems or issues, now you can take the time to respond. You can frame your response using some parts of the HEAT tactic, particularly the expectations, accountability, and teamwork portions.

Next Steps

Make sure you offer equitable solutions or compromises that can best address the issue.

Resources

• VIDEO: De-escalation in Action
• VIDEO: Why do Leaders Run from Conflict?

TIDES

TIDES is a tool that includes phrases to help you dig deeper into the concerns, questions, and topics you are discussing to better understand things from another person’s point of view, and to potentially expose an unknown or underlying issue.

When someone approaches you for a conversation, they may be upset, have an idea, make a request, want to gossip, or have an issue they need to resolve. The best thing to do is to clarify their intent by asking a question that allows them to express themselves and gives you the opportunity to dig deeper.

This allows the person to share more with you and gives you time to process and understand the situation further versus jumping right in and trying to fix or share your thoughts.

When asking questions, use TIDES to create even better understanding to more effectively respond.

• Tell me more...
• In what way...
• Describe for me...
• Explain...
• Say more...

You may not need to go through the entire process, and you can even go out of order. The important thing is to delve into the issue someone is having to make sure that they feel heard.

Resources

• VIDEO: TIDES in Action
• VIDEO: TCG Tool for Genuine Conversations