Suicide risk and severe stress do not only affect correctional professionals. They also affect partners, children, parents, close friends, and chosen family. Families are often the first to notice changes, and they carry a heavy load when someone they care about is hurting. This section offers practical guidance for families and loved ones of correctional staff based on research from the Suicide Prevention Research Center, the 988 Suicide Prevention and Crisis Lifeline, the American Foundation Suicide Prevention and research on correctional officers and suicide.
Noticing When Something is Wrong
It is normal for this work to spill over into home life. What you are watching for is change over time, not just a bad day.
You may notice that your loved one:
- Seems more on edge, angry, or withdrawn than usual.
- Starts to drink more, especially alone or to “wind down” after every shift.
- Has trouble sleeping, wakes up a lot, or sleeps far more than before.
- Talks less, laughs less, or seems “checked out” around family.
- Talks about work as if it is “doing time” and there is nothing else in their life.
- Makes comments like “I’m done,” “I can’t do this anymore,” or “Everyone would be better off without me.”
- If you see several of these changes building over days or weeks, it is important to pay attention.
How to start a conversation
Keep in mind, you do not need perfect words. The goal is to show you care and are willing to listen.
You might say:
- “I’ve noticed you seem different lately, more quiet and on edge, and I’m worried about you.”
- “You’ve had a lot on your plate with work and everything else. How are you really doing?”
- “I care about you, and I’m not here to judge. I just want to understand what this has been like for you.”
Let them talk without rushing to fix it or downplay it. You can reflect back what you hear:
- “It sounds like you’re exhausted and feel stuck.”
- “It makes sense you would feel that way with everything you’re dealing with.”
If you are concerned that they might be thinking about suicide, it is okay to ask directly:
- “Sometimes when people feel this overwhelmed, they think about ending their life. Has that been happening for you?”
- “Have things gotten so bad that you’ve thought about hurting yourself or not wanting to be alive anymore?”
Remember, research shows that asking this does not put the idea in their head.
Helping Them Connect to Support
If your loved one says they are struggling, or if you are still concerned even after talking, support them in getting help. You can:
Encourage them to talk with:
- A trusted coworker or supervisor
- A counselor, therapist, or doctor
Offer to
- Sit with them while they call EAP or a clinician.
- Be with them while they call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
- Help them make or update a simple safety plan (who to call, what helps, how to make the home safer during a crisis).
If they refuse help, you can still say:
“I hear that you don’t want to talk to anyone now. I care about you too much to ignore this. I’m going to keep checking in, and if I believe you’re in danger, I may need to reach out for extra help.”
When Immediate Help Is Needed
Call 988 right away if:
- Your loved one talks about a plan to kill themselves.
- They say they cannot stay safe, even for a short time.
- They are acting confused, very agitated, or out of touch with reality.
If you are not sure, it is safer to call and ask than to wait and hope it passes.
Taking Care of Yourself as a Family Member
Caring about someone who works in corrections often means living with a mix of emotions. You may feel proud of the work they do, worried about what they see on the job, and tired from carrying that concern over time. Looking after your own well‑being is not selfish. It is what allows you to keep showing up with patience, steadiness, and care.
You can:
- Talk with your own doctor, counselor, or support group about what you are going through. If you live in the same household as a State of Indiana employee, you also qualify for Optum Employee Assistance Program benefits.
- Reach out to family or friends who can listen and help with practical things like childcare, meals, or transportation.
- Learn the basic warning signs and crisis options (including 988) so you are not carrying everything alone in your head.
It is important to remember: You did not cause your loved one’s distress, and you cannot fix it all by yourself. Noticing changes, asking hard questions, and helping them connect to support are powerful, life‑saving actions. It is also okay, and important, for you to get help for yourself along the way.