With Valentine’s Day just over a week away, it’s easy to get swept up into the notion of wanting to experience some romance as a part of our everyday life.

And that’s true whether we’ve been married for years, in a relationship that’s just beginning to develop, or we’re single and looking for someone special. Maybe we get caught up in watching a movie on the Hallmark Channel or we decide to take some time to get away for a weekend. Or, perhaps, the woman or the man who’s reached out to us online is a bit more mysterious, in terms of the story they’re sharing with us. Regardless, it can be imaginative and intriguing, all at the same time.

And yet, as we’ve discovered, there is a reality to it all that can be (and is) heartbreaking in a way we can’t imagine.

Romance scams are much more than just the “risk” that comes with giving our heart to someone, especially when you consider:

• In 2024, a survey of U.S. online dating service users found that 53 percent of male online dating service users being a victim of a romance scams, while 47 percent of women who used such services reported the same.
• Scammers will use well-rehearsed scripts that have been used repeatedly and successfully. Some even keep journals on their victims to better understand how to manipulate and exploit them.

To learn more about how these scams can happen and some expert advice on what you can do to protect your heart and your bank account, be sure to check out this episode from the “Inside the FBI” podcast.

There are also some red flags you’ll want to watch out for, such as:

• Being asked to leave the dating website where you met to communicate solely through email or instant messaging.
• Receiving a photo that looks like a glamour shot out of a magazine.
• Meeting someone who tries to isolate you from friends and family.
• Always cancelling the plans that are made to visit you because of an emergency.
• Asking you to send money, share your personal and financial information, or provide them with items of value, or to launder money.
• Using stories of severe life circumstances, such as tragedies, deaths in the family, injuries to themselves, or other hardships to keep their victims concerned and involved.
• Claiming they have knowledge of cryptocurrency investments or trading opportunities that will result in substantial profits.

In trusting your heart (and your instincts), the FBI, along with the Indiana State Police recommends:

• Taking it slow and not being afraid to ask questions.
• If you suspect an online relationship is a scam, stop all contact immediately.
• Never send money to someone you met online and have not met in person.
• Never share your Social Security number or other personally identifiable information. (PII), such as your date of birth.
• Research the individual’s picture and profile using other online search tools.
• If you are planning to meet someone in person, proceed with caution, especially if you plan to travel to another state or a foreign country.
• Be careful what you post and make public online as scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.

If you’re a victim of a cybercrime, you’ll want to contact a law enforcement agency right away, including the FBI – Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).

You can also contact the Indiana State Police’s Special Investigations Division, which is staffed with detectives who specialize in conducting cybercrime. Reports can be filed using the High Tech Crime Investigative Assistance Form or by calling: (260) 459-4884.

As is often the case with online crimes, romance scams impact not just the person who is the victim, but it also creates a devastating outcome for their families, who are drawn into the situation as they see someone who’s close to them, such as a parent, sibling, or an adult son or daughter, being victimized. If you suspect that a member of your family is a victim of a romance scam, you can contact the FBI, or you can report romance scams and financial abuse to the Indiana Attorney General’s office.

On a happier note, there are plenty of ways to meet someone safely, whether you’re online or in person. And for what it’s worth, finding what we believe is true romance might be encouraged by the fact that roughly six million people do get engaged on (you guessed it) Valentine’s Day! Here’s to all of us finding some romance that fills our heart without emptying our bank account!